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Mon | January 08, 2007

Je stoppe

I have finally come to a decision about French. I am sick of it and I am quitting. I have quit a lot of things; here's one more. Whatever. There is no point. I have no interest in France the country, French the people, French culture, etc. None of it has any application in my life. This is madness. This is doing something for no reason at all. I needed a break from English and I think I took it. It has come to the point that I am dragging myself through my workbook. I dragged myself all the way to almost the end. That's the way it is with me. I didn't finish my first workbook either. I technically can't finish anything. J'ai seulement faire le huitième revision et je sais que je ne vais pas le faire. Better to just stop now. Puis quelque j'aie fait, c'est très bien. I don't get the rewarding feeling of actually finishing, but that doesn't mean everything I did so far is meaningless. If I follow my previous pattern, I will take a year off, then start up again. So it's more like a break than quitting. But if I don't think about it as quitting, I will never go back to it. That's the way it is with me. I must really have left before I can come back. If I know I will go back to it that's not good. I don't think. Maybe I never will go back. It's a pity to "lose" everything I've gained but if there's no point to it there is no reason to keep it.

I have no idea what my level is. Someone asked me last night and I didn't know. Nor did I care. What an irrelevant question. Why does it even matter. We are not in school. And even if we were. Get over it. Do you know French, or not. Do you enjoy it, or not. Does it benefit you, or not. Do you feel better with it, or without it. That's all there is to it.

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