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Tue | September 05, 2006

pourquoi beaucoup d'Asiatiques ne devraient pas être des médecins

Seeing that Asian girl on the PBS show Roadtrip Nation got me thinking. First, that I should watch more PBS, because I think they have some programming of Asian interest. Occasionally I luck upon parts of these programs, but it would be good to know exactly when they are on.

I've already looked into it, but unfortunately I haven't found an email list on their site. So I suppose it's back to surfing tv. It's quite lucky when I catch anything because I usually don't surf through PBS, since if I did, I would feel guilty about not giving them money.

Second, and more importantly, I have been thinking about that Asian girl, who was one of the three post-college road-trippers on Roadtrip Nation. I saw her name on the site last night but now I can't find it anymore. I'm making myself seem bad at finding things on the web but that's not true and anyway it's besides the point. There was an Asian girl and the subtitle under her name was "unsure of pre-med."

And it was so obvious that she shouldn't be pre-med.

On this show she meets and interviews successful people about their careers, and always asks the same question... some form of "how do you know, how can you be sure." It was as if she were waiting for someone to give her permission or to tell her not to. And she got that-- in one case quite directly from the CEO of Jet Blue, who said "don't do it." His simple reason was "because you're the one who's going to have to live with it."

I'm writing about this in the wrong way, because I'm about to say that while this argument (and variations offered by everyone else) obviously made sense to her, she still seemed unconvinced. And I don't want to say what's wrong with this girl, what part of 'no' does she not understand? Why does she keep asking the same question, what is she getting at, or trying to get at, and yet making no sign of improvement?

I don't want to take this angle because it's somewhat antagonistic, or perhaps distant, when in fact I sympathize with her, and more importantly, millions of Asian Americans of college age and beyond would identify with her.

Whether those APAs would be willing to admit that they were ever that stupid is another thing. Not stupid, but just- it is one of those things that seems obvious (and thus stupid) in retrospect, once you are beyond it.

Having struggled with my own version of that decision myself, I know that there is something paradoxical about its obviousness. Obviously I don't like science, I never have. If you left me alone in a room I wouldn't wonder about any of that. Do you need interest in order to do something? Yeah, kinda. Can you acquire interest? Yeah, kinda. I suppose this is where the "grey" area is. But the thing is, your life would be a whole lot fucking easier if you just followed your interests.

I think something in Asian culture gravitates towards doing things the hard way. There is a tendency to think harder is better. Sometimes harder just means you're doing it wrong. You're aiming too high, asking a twelve year old with average analytical skills to do tenth grade algebra. Or shoving a square peg into a round hole when there's no reason why you shouldn't just put it into the square hole and be done with it. Besides life is hard enough when you're following your interests. Or perhaps I am still doing a lot of things the hard way, in the same pattern.

I'm not doing a great job anymore of sorting topic this out. And yet it is sorted out, in the sense that I have no qualms or regrets about the decision, and never will. Its correctness became evident soon after I made it. Not because of any event, proof, or confirmation, but just because --I just knew. When Watson and Crick deduced the structure of DNA Crick said he just knew that had to be it, even before it was proved. I saw this also on PBS, just that piece of the show, and for some reason I remember it.

It was a gradual decision, something that I definitely "made" at some point, but that I had made many times before, and at a certain point I made for the last time, knowing even then that it was the last time I would make it. There was no epiphany, though, there was no moment. Perhaps my writing about it will be like that too. Not composing one single piece which addresses the topic, but revisiting and revisiting until one day it's done.

Assez. Pour maintenant. Bonsoir...

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