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Fri | December 02, 2005

Mind Game

This morning on the train everyone reminded me of Jake. This was not difficult, since Jake is a white guy with brown hair and brown eyes and this pretty much describes half the men on the 8:06 Dover train. But I had never thought of it this way before; it was only in broadening my idea of him to that concept that I was able to see him in everyone. And I felt better because even though I never see him, I could look at the brown hair on the train and feel somehow closer to him.

Now I am at Kap and I am looking at everyone and changing them in my mind until they are Jake. I do this even with people who are very different from Jake. I start with the hair and then the body and always finish with the chin. There is something about Jake's chin-- or perhaps it's the angle of his jaw-- that is reminiscent of an old man. This doesn't sound appealing and it probably isn't, to a rational person. But I like him, and that's that.

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