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Thu | October 06, 2005
come again
Who reads this anyway? I can see in my site stats that a number of different IP addresses visit the site, but have no idea who any of them are. The reason I ask is, I am about to tell about my little trip today. It was all in the name of writing, I swear.
I went to an 'erotic emporium,' for a book reading, which wasn't a book reading, but a book signing, or a prostitute (sorry, I don't know the euphemism for the word) sitting on a stool by the counter, surrounded by plastic penises and other sex toys that were mostly some variation on that same theme. And then there was a surprisingly steady flow of creepy men, just slimy, gross men, I mean who literally looked slimy-- moist, clammy-looking, with oily skin, or just, long-unwashed hair. and long hair. long and long-unwashed. ahh!
I'm fairly unadulterated and this was out of character for me. It was scary. But also silly and exciting at the same time. I felt like I was another person. I certainly had never met people like that, only ignored them, as best I could, on the subway, or wherever they lurk. Somehow in the context of the store they were talkable. Talkable meaning, I could talk to them. Don't tell me that's not a word.
Oh and there was a book, which as far as I could tell was soft porn packaged in a cheery tone. It reminded me of that exercise we did in writing class, where we took a story, and wrote it in different tones: sad, happy, old, and young. I wasn't really great at that.
Actually-- it's not soft porn, it's just porn. I bought the book, it's right here, I've taken it out. I opened it and read just the first page. I don't even know what soft porn is, but this seems a bit too frank to be called soft. Anyway, the book is a manifestation of Asian obliviousness. Starting from this blissfully white cover with its yellow condoms that are the eyes in this smiley face, it's hard to describe, here is the amazon link, and block of magenta color at the bottom. And ending... well I haven't read it, so I don't know where it all ends. At any rate I'm sure it never portrays prostitution as the demeaning act that it is. The position is that they're respectable professionals. That's right, position.
But wait, she's Asian, yeah, that's why I was interested, really, because I want to save Asian culture from itself, and from the problems it gets into by being itself, and this is definitely one of the problems. This author is an ex-prostitute, actually (she's made a career change to writing, hurrah!), but why are there so many Asian prostitutes? I think they are unaware of how degrading it is. Things I will sort out later. Why am I writing so much? I have to go.
But wait, why did I buy the book? To be polite, really, because I hung around for so long, and because I liked her. And because I wanted her to like me. It would be nice to earn her implicit trust, and become friends. I would be a good friend. I told her about the Tale of Genji. And she wants to be more erudite, I can tell. Ultimately I'd benefit her more than she would benefit me. Currently I have a lot to learn from her about how to go about being a writer. She wrote for salon.com, she had a sex column. And I have nowhere to go but up.
If it did happen, it would be very gradual, a Jamesian progress, and over a long period of time, just here and there. It would be nice if I just met one really great person who would work closely with me and guide me along. They don't even need to be that great, or that close. They just need to be there. But I think what will happen with me is that I'll have to cobble it together from what little I pick up here and there. From many of these little appetizers I will try to make a meal.
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